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Accept the problem

    Accept the problem

    To change your mindset, it is important to first fully accept your current mindset. Real change is only possible when we accept the current situation as it really is.

    It’s no coincidence that acceptance of the problem is the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous, the most successful program for recovering from alcohol addiction.

    Step 1 of Alcoholics Anonymous

    I recognize that I am powerless over alcohol and that I have lost control of my life.

    Only when you fully accept yourself as you are is real change possible.

    This means that you have to accept that you currently have a (too) negative mindset with a (too strong) preference for negative thoughts and feelings.

    “The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

    ~ Nathaniel Branden, psychotherapist and self-esteem pioneer

    When you don’t fully accept your negative mindset, change is impossible. After all, how can you change something that you deny exists?

    Stop feeding your black wolf

    When you keep resisting your negative mindset and the accompanying negative thoughts and feelings, these don’t go away, but you actually feed them.

    You are telling yourself that it is not okay to think what you think and feel what you feel.

    This suggests that there is something broken or defective that needs to be fixed, which only creates more negative thoughts and feelings about yourself.

    The fact that we have to accept our negative mindset, and the associated negative thoughts and feelings, does not mean that we have to continue feeding them.

    Feed your white wolf

    The purpose of acceptance is that we become more aware of how and when we feed our negative mindset (or black wolf), so that we can stop doing this and start feeding our positive mindset (or white wolf) instead.

    And when we keep feeding our positive mindset (white wolf) long enough, it keeps getting bigger.

    It is then only a matter of time until our white wolf is strong enough to defeat our black wolf and we have changed our negative mindset to a positive one.