Faking it
When you first start using a positive diary, it can be difficult to discover positive things and events.
When you currently have a negative mindset, it can even feel awkward and uncomfortable to look for the positive things in your life.
However, there is a simple solution to this: fake it until you make it. You just pretend there are positive things and events and record them in your diary.
The “fake it until you make it” technique is widely used in psychotherapy and coaching. The positive effect of this technique has also been proven in multiple independent scientific studies.
Fake-it-until-you-make-it technique
The fake-it-until-you-make-it technique is based on the idea that if you act like the person you want to be, over time you will become that person.
This technique was developed by Dr. Alfred W. Adler, one of the founders of modern psychology.
Dr. Adler explored the power of practicing mental fictions and imaginations, a precursor to cognitive behavioral therapy.
In this technique you have to perform the desired behavior on a daily basis. By acting differently, you start to think and feel differently.
As a result, you develop a different mindset and you eventually become a different person.
In other words, by pretending and changing your behavior it is possible to change your thoughts and feelings.
A common example is to laugh when you want to improve your mood. Scientific research shows that smiling helps relieve stress and release negative emotions.
The reason is that our brains produce endorphins, serotonin and dopamine when you laugh. And these hormones lower our stress levels and improve our mood.
Our brains don’t know why we laugh. Every time we laugh, our brain just releases these hormones and we feel better.
The technique
The best way to use this technique is to label neutral experiences and events as positive.
Some examples of neutral experiences that you can classify as positive are as follows:
- I brushed my teeth
- I have been shopping
- I took a shower
- I got up
- I woke up
- I have eaten
- I watched television
By labeling neutral events as positive, you tell your brain that the experience or event is positive. This causes your brain to release positive hormones, which makes you feel better.
“You have to be willing to get happy about nothing.”
~ Andy Warhol, American visual artist, film director, producer, and leading figure in the pop art movement
Negative events and experiences are less suitable for this technique, because they evoke negative feelings.
And because positive and negative feelings are contradictory to each other, you cannot be sure that this will generate positive feelings.
Persevere
At the start, this exercise can feel awkward and result in conflicting feelings and thoughts, which can cause discomfort because of cognitive dissonance.
Even if it feels a bit awkward or fake at first, it’s important to persevere and just keep going.
After a while you notice that this discomfort disappears. It gets easier.
And before you know it you will be able to discover things and events that are positive and make you feel good.
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
~ Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, and known for leading the nation during the Civil War and enacting the Emancipation Proclamation