Don’t think, just act
We all know about New Year’s resolutions and how short-lived they can be.
Stop smoking, drink less, eat healthier, workout more, do your best at work or for your studies. You name them.
When formulating these resolutions, most people are fully convinced that this time they will succeed in realizing them.
Some people even make a list of all the benefits that realizing the good intention will yield for extra motivation.
However, in the first months of the new year most resolutions fail. Why is this?
Creature of habit
This reason is that man is a creature of habit. Research shows that on average about 75% of everything we do each day is the same.
These are our habits.
All people are equal in nature. Only their habits differ.
~ Confucius, Chinese philosopher and the paragon of Chinese sages
Habits are automatic or routine behaviors. Things we do without thinking about it. And because we don’t think about a large part of our behavior, changing our behavior is not easy.
Despite our good intentions, we simply fall back into automatic behavior. Because we don’t think about it, this often happens without us realizing it. Only afterwards do we realize that we made a mistake.
Or we can’t resist the temptation of our habits. The urge for alcohol is too strong or the desire for that cigarette is too great.
This makes us feel like we have no control over our behavior at all. That’s why we simply give up on our good intentions.
Rationalization
In order not to be confronted with our own failures, we subsequently rationalize and justify our behavior. That is, we make up reasons and excuses why this good intention was not really suitable for us right now.
If you want to change your mindset, you need to change your behavior. You need to replace the habit of negative thinking with a habit of positive thinking.
This is not impossible, it is just a matter of perseverance. And to keep it up, you just need to know how to go about it and what your limitations are.
Limited willpower
Man is incapable of reflecting at length on everything that he does and thinking extensively about whether he should or should not do it.
This requires willpower and we only have a limited amount of willpower, or mental energy.
In order not to exhaust our mental energy, we only use our willpower when it is really needed.
We perform the rest of our daily tasks more or less automatically, without thinking about it.
These automatic tasks consume much less mental energy and keep us from becoming exhausted.
Ego depletion
The idea that we only have a limited amount of willpower is known in science as “ego depletion.” Ego depletion literally means “depletion of the self.”
Ego depletion implies that we only have a limited amount of mental energy.
And every time we want to control or control our behavior, it costs mental energy. And when our mental energy decreases, our self-control becomes more and more difficult.
When our mental energy is completely exhausted, it is no longer possible to resist our impulses and cravings.
When we are rested, we have a lot of mental energy. This is why we are often better able to control our behavior and resist our impulses in the morning.
Because our mental reserves are a lot lower at the end of the day, it becomes much more difficult to resist temptation.
That’s why we often grab that bag of chips, that cigarette or that glass of wine in the evening.
When we are stressed, our mental energy also decreases. Prolonged stress can cause our ego to become structurally exhausted. This is called a burn-out.
Use it strategically
Changing behavior takes willpower and mental energy. And because these are limited, we have to deal with them strategically and wisely.
To make a lasting adjustment to our behavior by forming a new habit, we must ensure that our mental energy is not exhausted in the process.
This means that we have to take into consideration that sometimes we don’t feel so good, we are tired, or we are stressed. And that at these moments our willpower is reduced.
Even on these days we must be able to maintain our adjustment in behavior and our mindset, to prevent us from falling back into our old behavior and mindset.
That is why it is important not to go too fast and not to set the bar too high.
Baby steps
It is therefore best to only make small adjustments in our behavior, because small adjustments only require a limited amount of willpower.
This way you can maintain this adjustment for an extended period. Also on the days when things are not going so well and you have little mental energy.
Over time, this adjustment becomes a habit and part of your new mindset. It has become automatic, and you no longer have to think about it and it no longer costs any willpower.
For example, brushing your teeth before going to sleep is typically something you do automatically, without thinking about it.
When it has become a habit and no longer costs any willpower, you can use your limited willpower to make the next small step. Until this has become a habit again. And so on and so forth.
Forming a habit takes about 2 months on average. In other words, about every two months you can make a small adjustment to your mindset.
Focus on keystone habits
Because you can’t make major changes with one small step every two months, it’s important to focus on learning the habits that yield the most results.
These are called keystone habits, because they affect multiple areas and aspects of your life.
Keeping a positive diary is an important keystone practice, because the quality of your mindset has many effects on multiple areas of your life.
See the article “Focus on Keystone Habits” for other Keystone Habits.
Summary
For successful and lasting change, it is important to take small steps, not big ones. So start small, but with big dreams.
We have limited willpower, so it is important to use it strategically. This means developing a habit of small adjustments before making any new adjustments.
In this way you ensure that you do not exhaust your mental energy and avoid becoming disappointed and unmotivated.
We perform our habits automatically. And because we don’t have to think about them, they don’t require any (or much) willpower.
In other words: don’t think, just act.