Make it personal

It’s good to reflect on the positive events and things that happen to you and make you feel good.

By doing this you connect with your positive feelings and strengthen them.

The next step is to focus more explicitly on your part in the positive or pleasurable experience.

“People with low self-esteem will attribute their performance to external factors rather than their own abilities.”

~ Albert Bandura, Canadian-American psychologist who was the David Starr Jordan Professor of Psychology at Stanford University

When you had a nice evening with a friend, you can record it in different ways.

For example, you could write: “I had a nice evening with a friend.”

Focus on your contribution

An alternative is to zoom in on your part or role in creating this experience. In other words, what exactly was your contribution to this nice evening with your friend?

Some examples could be:

I invited a friend to come over.
I bought some nice things that she really enjoyed.
I turned off my phone so I could give her my full attention and we could connect better.
I really made an effort to make her comfortable.
Because I listened carefully, she really felt heard and we were able to connect on a deeper level.

By focusing on your part in the positive experience, you link the positive feelings of the experience to something you did.

And by taking responsibility for your positive feelings, you create a sense of pride, which has a positive effect on your self-confidence.