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The origin of the problem

    The origin of the problem

    Why do we keep feeding our black wolf so much and our white wolf not enough?

    In other words, why do you have a negative mindset and pay so much attention to your negative thoughts and feelings?

    There are three possible reasons why you have a negative mindset and pay so much attention to your negative thoughts and feelings.

    1. Negative feelings are stronger

    Negative thoughts and feelings are stronger and more urgent than positive thoughts and feelings. This is because negative thoughts and feelings relate to (the threat of) danger.

    In the face of danger, negative feelings force us to stop what we are doing, increase our vigilance, and adjust our behavior. This is due to the release of stress hormones; namely, cortisol and adrenaline.

    These hormones narrow your attention and awareness so that you can focus completely on the threat of danger you face. This ensures that you are completely focused on the gun in the robber’s hand and not on his style of dress.

    2. Learned at a young age

    There is a good chance that you picked up your negative mindset at a young age. For example, because your parents constantly pointed out your shortcomings and limitations or because you only received negative attention.

    Or maybe the role models in your immediate environment were very negative. For example, friends, teachers, uncles, aunts, and other important people in your childhood.

    By copying this behavior, we adopted this negative mindset and started to believe in it.

    “If you are told often enough from an early age that you are not good, you are not smart, you cannot do it, your opinion does not matter, you do not do it well, you do not know, you do not wear the right clothes, you do not looks nice, then you start to believe it at a certain point.”

    ~ Victoria Secunda, award-winning author, journalist and educator

    3. Shock or trauma

    It may also be that you have ended up in negativity due to a shock or trauma. A major traumatic event can disrupt the chemical balance in our brain.

    Some people may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result. Also, the result of a traumatic experience can be that you have a heightened sense of fear, act more impulsively and have more difficulty controlling your emotions.

    Challenge

    Find out why you have a (too) negative mindset

    • Look only for the external causes for your negative mindset
    • The root cause of a negative mindset is always external